2006-12-24 - 4:54 p.m.

1 - Otooto was looking at a junior atlas, and shrieked, "[Owner], [Owner], come over and look at this!" Over I went. "This part of Russia looks like a condom!"
I considered it. "A little," I conceeded, although personally I thought it was closer to a condom fitted over a circumcised penis. Then I noticed that there was tracing paper on the floor.
"Oh!" I said, feeling a little thrill, "Are you teaching yourself about Russia?"
"Huh? Oh, it's a project from - " (an internet site! Oh, yes, he's using the internet to learn about other things! My little brother is so cool!) " - a couple of months ago, we just never finished it."
Huh. Well bugger.

2 - Little Brother of the Perpetual Heterosexuality (it just occurred to me that "Little Brother" sounds a little like the start to a monk-y names [hee! monkey!], so why not flow with it?) then comes over to me, asks me for his Christmas present, and announces he's almost as tall as me.
"Argh," I say, "I'm shrinking!"
"Nah," he says, "And considering you didn't get any acne at all until you were seventeen, maybe you're going to get a growth spurt soon."
"Oh, no," I say, "that wasn't late blooming, that was a reminder not to get too vain!"
Little Brother grunts and looks confused.